Jokes for Kids
100 clean, genuinely funny jokes for grade-schoolers, told by Sprout and his best
friend Bud on a little old television. Ten channels, from Animal Planet to Knock-Knock. Every one
is safe to tell at school, at the dinner table, or to a grandparent on the phone.
Watch the Joke Show free ā
How the Joke Show works
- Sprout reads the set-up out loud. Try to guess the punchline before you press the button!
- Press again and the punchline appears — and Bud, who has never once kept a straight face, falls about laughing.
- Tune to a channel for one kind of joke, or leave it on All Channels for a mixed-up show.
- Every joke is in the printable Joke Book too, and the How Jokes Work lesson teaches
set-ups, punchlines, puns and homophones — so children can write their own.
š¶ Animal Planet
Furry, feathery and fishy friends
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear!
Where do sheep go to get a haircut?
To the baa-baa shop!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh!
Why don't elephants use computers?
They're scared of the mouse!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Why did the cat sit on the laptop?
To keep an eye on the mouse!
How do rabbits go on holiday?
By hare-plane!
What do you call an alligator in a waistcoat?
An in-vest-igator!
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A bird that talks in Morse code!
š School Daze
Classroom giggles
Why did the pupil eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why was the maths book so sad?
It had too many problems!
Why did the girl bring a ladder to school?
Because she wanted to go to high school!
What subject are owls best at?
Owl-gebra!
Why was the broom late for class?
It over-swept!
Why did the clock get sent to the head teacher?
It kept tocking in class!
Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her class was so bright!
Who is the king of all the school supplies?
The ruler!
Why did the pencil go to the doctor?
It had a broken point!
What did the paper say to the pencil?
"Write on!"
š Snack Time
Food that talks back
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese!
Why did the biscuit go to the nurse?
Because it was feeling crumby!
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?
They'd crack each other up!
What did the lettuce say to the celery?
"Stop stalking me!"
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What kind of nut never has any money?
A cash-ew!
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice!
What is a potato's favourite day of the week?
Fry-day!
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
A depresso!
š Outer Space
Jokes from way up there
How does the Moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it!
Why did the Sun go to school?
To get a little brighter!
Where do astronauts leave their spaceships?
At a parking meteor!
How do you throw a party in space?
You planet!
What is an astronaut's favourite key on a keyboard?
The space bar!
Why don't aliens ever eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
What do you call a tick living on the Moon?
A luna-tick!
What is a spaceship's favourite hot drink?
Gravi-tea!
Why did the star stop shining?
It needed a little space!
What do you call a very small galaxy?
A galax-tiny!
š¦ Dino Hour
Prehistoric punchlines
What do you call a dinosaur having a nap?
A dino-snore!
What do you call a dinosaur who knows a lot of words?
A thesaurus!
Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet?
Because the P is silent!
What do you call a dinosaur who crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks!
What did the dinosaur put on her dinner?
Dino-sauce!
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens hadn't been invented yet!
What do you call a dinosaur who never gives up?
A try-try-try-ceratops!
Where do dinosaurs go shopping?
To the dino-store!
What do you call a dinosaur wearing a cowboy hat?
Tyrannosaurus Tex!
How do you invite a dinosaur to lunch?
Tea, Rex?
šŖ Knock-Knock
Someone's at the door!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Lettuce. ā¦ Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it's freezing out here!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Boo. ā¦ Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Cows go. ā¦ Cows go who?
No they don't ā cows go MOO!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Interrupting cow. ā¦ Interrupting cā
MOOOOO!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Olive. ā¦ Olive who?
Olive right next door to you!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Tank. ā¦ Tank who?
You're welcome!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Doughnut. ā¦ Doughnut who?
Doughnut ask, it's a secret!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ A broken pencil. ā¦ A broken pencil who?
Never mind. It's pointless.
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Alpaca. ā¦ Alpaca who?
Alpaca the lunch, you pack the bags!
Knock, knock! ā¦ Who's there? ā¦ Honeydew. ā¦ Honeydew who?
Honeydew you know how long I've been knocking?
š» Spooky Silly
Friendly monsters only
What is a ghost's favourite pudding?
I-scream!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
He had no body to go with!
Where do ghosts go on their holidays?
Mali-boo!
What shoes do frogs wear in the summer?
Open-toad sandals!
Why don't mummies ever take a holiday?
They're afraid to unwind!
What do you call a monster with no neck?
The Lost Neck Monster!
Why was the robot so tired after his journey?
He'd had a hard drive!
What do you call a snowman in the middle of July?
A puddle!
Why did the scarecrow win a prize?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
What is a ghost's favourite room in the house?
The living room!
ā½ Sports & Sky
Games and weather
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back!
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
"Fancy going for a spin?"
Why can't you play hide-and-seek with a mountain?
Because it always peaks!
What is a runner's favourite school subject?
Jog-raphy!
Why did the golfer take two pairs of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one!
What do clouds wear under their raincoats?
Thunderwear!
What did one raindrop say to the other?
"Two's company, three's a cloud!"
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired!
What is a boxer's favourite drink?
Fruit punch!
Why did the football team go to the bakery?
They needed a good roll!
š¬ Science Lab
Experiments gone funny
Why can't you ever trust an atom?
Because they make up everything!
What did the volcano say to its best friend?
"I lava you!"
Why does a tree find tests so tricky?
It always gets stumped!
What does a magnet say when it meets someone?
"I find you very attractive!"
Why did the germ cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide!
What do you call a bee born in the month of May?
A maybe!
Why is the ocean so friendly?
Because it's always waving!
What did the rock say to the geologist?
"Don't take me for granite!"
Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had caught a virus!
What is a scientist's favourite kind of dog?
A lab!
šµ Books & Bands
Stories and songs
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out!
What kind of music do planets listen to?
Nep-tunes!
Why couldn't the pirate finish his book?
He got lost at C!
What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
The trom-bone!
Why did the piano get locked out of the house?
Because its keys were inside!
What did the drum say when it fell over?
"Ba-dum-tss!"
Why did the musical note get in trouble?
It was in treble!
Where does a book sleep at night?
Under its covers!
What kind of music do cows love best?
Moo-sic!
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away all their chairs!
Please note: BrightSprouts Academy is a supplemental learning resource for
families. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or a replacement for any official school
curriculum, school district, state education agency, or the U.S. Department of Education. Our
lessons follow widely used US scope-and-sequence guidance as a helpful reference only. Always
follow your child's school, district and state requirements.